If memory serves me right, I’ve never really eaten meals served on aeroplanes; I typically just have coffee or Pepsi because:
- My trips never exceeded five hours, so I was never hungry.
- I’m not a fan of how they look—it’s too much like canned food for my taste.
However, on my way back from Paris, it was cold, and I was annoyed because I had to cut my trip short due to worries about work. To ease the journey, I drank three small bottles of red wine, which were delicious. They definitely helped smooth the bumpy flight, warmed me up, and made the crying baby’s voice seem distant.
I’m writing this because I recently saw a Qatar Airways advertisement. I highly doubt people choose Qatar Airways—or any airline, for that matter—based on the food they serve.
Haha, flying to Egypt through Marka Airport, they serve you Carolena juice and a cake that costs about 10 cents in Amman. All the while, I imagined a young boy emerging from the cockpit, holding a flat board and yelling “Shebs, baskot, tsale, bezer.”
P.S. Airplane captains, if the plane has technical problems, don’t tell your passengers. Instead, say you want to go back because there’s another plane on the runway with technical issues, and you’re waiting for it to take off.
P.P.S. Falcon/Royal Jordanian flight attendants:
- Go easy with the face painting/whitening cream; we can see the dark neck.
- Push-up and padded bras are okay, but heavily padded to the extent that it hinders your sight is a risk to both yourself and the passengers you’re attending to. Yes, guys notice these things.
- If one stocking is torn, it might be an oversight, but both? They cost less than 1 JD.
- Remember, it’s “please sit down,” not “blease sit down.”
- And yes, if someone is a foreigner and doesn’t speak or understand Arabic, speak to him in English.
